ive been so wrapped in my thoughts, i completely forgot its already december ._.
this blog sucks right?
well me and jeremy are still broken up.
hes harassing me. keeps calling me. he is driving me insane.
i wish i never loved him, and i wish i never talked to him.
he just wont leave me alone. i dont know what to do.
school is a complete fail.
like.............a lost cause.
but im really trying to keep my head up.
school just stresses me out so bad i want to scream.
but i want this diploma. i really want this.
i wont give up......i just cant...not yet =/
i decided to go to community college & finish my general courses.
and come back to columbia to finish my art courses. so i can get the hell out of there & fucking GET MY DIPLOMA.
i made a promise to myself.
that by the time i turn 21, i will have my life in order.
job. car. home. school.
i am so fucking determined to achieve this goal.
its so important to me that i get these things..........i feel like a useless adult.
i feel like a kid. and im not anymore.
its time to stop depending on mommy & start growing up.
dont want to end up like my brother....
its hard work, lot of saving, but i can do it.
i long to be independent.
i learned to stop looking for love. love just finds me somehow.
love has hurt me, broke me, betrayed me, and lied to me.
but this new love is......different.
thats pretty much all i have to say on this matter.
had to vent.
thanks for reading.
i try and not post alot of personal depressing shit on here but.........whats the point in having a diary when you cant let out your feelings?
i know these may not seem like MAJOR problems to any of you but.....dont judge a book by its cover.
its more to it than you think.