long time since i made a entry...
i have been on one emotional roller coaster ride.
quick (and i mean very quick update):
1. trip to arkansas was amazing/lovely
2. still working at marianos
3. still didnt beat mass effect
4. i have braids now
5. got 2 new tattoos
this entry is going to be a big fat VENT.
so there are no pictures in this one ._.
sorry gals, just got alot on my mind...and its about love.
so me and my bf are having communication issues......like bad.
it doesnt make it better that he lives in a different state than me.
i mean the distance sucks ass.
but you would think because we live so far away, our communication would be alot better
but it isnt
he is a texter......he hates talking on the phone
which is definitly a nono in my book
nigga better pick up the god damn phone when i answer
but he doesnt
hes the type of person that ALWAYS has his phone on vibrate/silent but has like 1,000 funny cool ringtones and shit
im just like.............what the fuck is even the POINT?
but he has his phone on vibrate all the time. and leaves his phone in the stupidest places and LOSES his phone all the time.
so he never gets my phone calls.
that shit burns my soul....like...........thats not cute and funny at all. thats just sad especially because you are a grown fucking man and cant keep up with ur phone
and hes also the type that doesnt call me at all. like...........im ALWAYS the one that calls him first. and that shit pisses me off so god damn bad. because we have been together for 5 months and he calls me like ONCE a month. not even once a month.....like once every two months......
it just feels like he never feels like talking to me. ever. im always the one that feels like talking to him. and because of that, i dont feel loved.
its so mother fucking fustrating talking to josh about this.
because if i bring this shit up and it sounds like im "raising my voice" he fuckin yells and hangs up the phone. im just like.......really ._.
so i have to talk to him like a fucking baby.
like at this moment RIGHT NOW, josh is not answering my phone calls and texts. last time i text him was like 5 today. i have no clue what hes doing but whatever he is fucking doing, he could have took 2 SECONDS out of his life to let me know whats goin on.
he complains im being too clingy and im smothering him, so im backing the fuck off.
HE IS QUICK TO REPLY TO OTHER PEOPLE THO! AND TEXT WHILE HE DRIVES. BUT HE DOESNT TEXT ME WHILE HES DRIVING. IM LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KEEDING ME? QUEEEEEEEE??????
im just like at a lost. literally. i have no idea what to do.
i basically have to "suck it up" and get used to this whole miscomunication trend that he is starting
cuz he WONT breakup with me.
i break up with him all the time, but hes just like "oh knock it off babe, blabla. we are fine blabla"
i honestly dont think we are going to last....
he thinks we are though.
at this point im just fucking done trying. im done making any effort in this relationship.
he wont make any effort to talk to me, so i wont do it either.
he claims im smothering him, so im leaving him alone.
easy as that right?
SIGH.
i fucking hate relathionshits.
lol yes, i said relationshits.
wish me luck gals xxxo
I hate to sound like a jerk so feel free to yell at me, Tomo but there are some points I will make about what I know of men--
ReplyDelete-Jay commented that in the early days of us dating he was always looking for me and enjoyed that I gave him space to be a guy (however, he wasn't with other girls and I knew this). I worked out, went on gal dates and would decline hanging out and only talked to him twice a week unless we planned a date up until a good year or some more. (I get you have to plan to see your man)
-Josh is in the military yeah? His days may start (you can correct me here) 4am and end late. Mili is barked at all day so the slightest change in your voice can set them off (I had family in the Army. If I had a giggle fit it could get one of them flipping out) Army, after work, can work like a frat and therefor he needs to respond to his guys because they are is imm. people.
-He had you meet his family. My thought is that is a step showing he is interested. I dated tons of dudes that said straight up because I was from a different BG that I would NEVER meet their family.
Your feelings are vaild, real and you know what is going on more than me so I may have it all wrong. I am just assuming possible thought behind actions and maybe they will help.
Love ya gal~
Men are confusing. Dafuq
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