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6.07.2016

6月8日: alien love boy

LOVE LIFE UPDATE


This mother fucker....lol. Ugh I always fall for these types...but hes different I swear.
This crazy, funny, incredibly dorky little weirdo has been the one who recently stole my heart.
Ugh, its sickening how much I love this dude. 
I'm always giving my heart to guys...
brief history: Sean and I met back in HS, he is my bff's brother.
When he met me, he didnt like me at all lol. I was gyaru and crazy af in HS, so I
probably scared him. But I had the biggest crush on this nigga lol.
He ended up dating this other chick who ultimately fucked his life up, and had kids
with her too. Eventually, on some true fuck boy shit, he hit me up randomly to "smoke and chill" a few years ago. Then later on hit me up again & he eventually asked me out. I was so fucking happy to be his. We had hella fun together, and had some ratchet moments to share. Eventually I got to meet 
his kids which was the most scariest thing ever lmaooo. This was my first relationship with someone who had kids. I read articles to prepare myself lmao. I was so nervous his nuggets wouldn't like
me, but they warmed up to me! They're so fucking adorable.
***
Since this was my first relationship with a guy with kids, this shit was so new for me.
I felt like I couldn't control my feelings for him, I missed him all the fucking time, but he
was always busy working and with his nuggets...
I understand and sympathize with his situation, but at the same time if you start a relationship,
its important to do the necessary things to keep the relationship stable. and Sean wasn't doing that.
We talked a lot, saw each other when we could, the love was there. But ultimately
he wasnt ready to be in a relationship. By the time he figured this out, my heart was
already invested in the relationship....fully. 
It hurts knowing I can't be with him, but I can't force someone to be with me if they arent ready.
So for now, we are just friends...thats all we can be until he thinks he is ready.
My biggest downfall is that I love too hard.





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