NYE reflections

2016 was bittersweet for me. I started the new year single, I broke up with my ex of 3 years. I felt so trapped being with him. Like I couldn't breathe. I was always tense and depressed whem with him so I had to let him go.
a few months in the new year I started dating another guy "he who must not be named." It started out surreal, blissful, and amazing. He was everything to me, I was crazy about him until he dumped me because he couldnt handle being in a relationship. I felt so fucking played. Because of this fuck boy, I had such a hard summer healing from him. Every day was such a struggle tbh....but I sort of made it through. We eventually got back together and he dumped me....again...for the same reason lmao.
This year was a big lesson in love for me. I learned to let go, no matter how painful it is. I learned the kind of love i have experienced is not the love i deserve...at all. I learned that the hard way.....cuz im hard-headed af. But im thankful for a clear mind now. My heart is still healing, but my mind is clear and focused.

There were some great points of my year. I conquered my fear of planes (sort of) and flew to LA for the first time! It was an amazing experience...truly. I felt so free...and happy. Like truly happy for the first time. I also got to visit NYC for the first time which was one of the best moments of 2016!!!! I enjoyed NYC so much im already planning another trip in April lmao.
Traveling really makes my heart happy💖
I also got to get crazy with my friends, and create more wild memories together :]

So yes overall, my year was bittersweet. Bitter because of the dickheads I gave my heart to, and sweet from the new experiences I had and fears I conquered. With that said, 2017 will be a great year for me. I have big plans for this year and can't wait to see what the universe brings me 🌟 I'm starting the new year right by planning a trip to portland to visit my girl Murphy! I seriously cannot wait to visit!

This year I want to travel more, even if they are small trips. I want to travel. Enjoy the world. I will be fearless in 2017. I want to get to a point in my life where I feel content and secure. I will not be dating in 2017. For the first time in a while, I want to be single. I have no desire to date right now. I just really want to focus on me and bettering myself. I havent given up on love or anything, its just not a priority for me.

Enough rambling, happy new year babes!
Im glad for all the new faces I have seen and souls I have met. You are all beautiful. Keep shining in the new year 🌟💖🌟



Today marks 15 years since my dad has passed away. Today was a beautiful sunny day, and I wanted to pay my respects, and clean up his resting place. I feel like no one comes to visit him except me...which is fine because I can decorate it how I please! Sean was really kind enough to take me again to visit him. (Hes the greatest, I love him)

I cleaned his headstone with fresh water and lit  incense to clear the air so he can hear my words((( *´꒳`* )))
Lit a white candle in his honor, and bought him fresh autumn flowers for the season. I also wrote a letter and read it for him. Afterwards, i burned the letter and buried it, so my words will carry on with him. Afterwards, I sat and thought about our memories and played his favorite songs for him. It was a much needed visit, and I plan on going again around christmas time.



Sooooo I ordered my first memebox kit and it arrived today! I'm pretty hyped to try new facial products. So the kit I chose is the tutti frutti one. The products are plant and fruit base, which ive 
never tried.

In the kit, I got:
1) facial toner + pads
2) dragon fruit pore minimizing mask
3) illuminating water gel mask
4) lychee jelly facial soap
Today I got to use the jelly soap, toner, and the water gel mask.
The jelly mask has a light lychee scent and fun to squeeze lolol. Its a very gentle soap cleanser, and doesnt leave a weird film on the face like some cleansers do. 10/10
The toner smells awesome! It really picks up the dirt that I missed while cleaning my face lol. 10/10
The water gel mask has a weird jizz consistency. The instructions say to either leave it on over night or wash it off after 15 min. Im gona leave it on over night and see how my face reacts to it. ?/10
I didnt get to try the dragon fruit pore mask yet, but sometime this weekend I will!



Goodbye summer.
Hello Fall.
This time of year is always bad for me lol.
-The death of my dad
-The death of my dog
-The dread of the holidays
the list goes on, but I'm trying my damn hardest to love and comfort myself.

I decided to give this driving thing another shot too.
I just got my permit, and start driving lessons next week. My goal is to get my license by 
the end of the month maybe? and start getting my car next month and shit.

October 1st, I decided to cut my hair. like all of it. Its been
on my list of things to do, and I have just been pushing it off lol.
Now my hair has a fresh start and can grow properly. No more damaged hair due to bleaching 
either. I'm done coloring my hair v.v

This year I have been working towards using and making more natural products.
I make my own toothpaste, feminine washes, body and facial scrubs.
This month I'm switching to an organic deoderant!
Im also detoxing my pits too, to eliminate the toxins from years of using 
the other deoderants. I made a simple paste of bentonite clay + apple cider vinegar
and apply it every night.
I noticed my skin is looking better these days too.
I had a mean facial breakout for a few weeks due to my b.c
but I have been taking care of my face more and the results are really showing :D
its the little things I do for my body that makes me happy <3


9月20日: Trip 2 STL

Last weekend my friends & I took a trip to STL to hang out with our good friend Ophie! It was pretty cool, we had fun :D
We even got to hang out with Moni tooo! <3
The weather was hot, but then decent on some other days lol. It even rained!
We went to some good ass restaraunts and went exploring. We also got to see the Blair Witch Project! While exploring downtown, we found a cute beer arcade called Start Bar! They had decent priced drinks, good food, and nice game selections too! We all got a nice spot and played n64 lol!
It was a pretty cute place.
Over all the weekend was chill! I saw my sniggies, I got to do a little shopping, and had some great food!



Saturday was pretty great! We all went to slump fest last night~ It was pretty cool, really talented artists, and lots of happy vibes. We bought slump fest tshirts too :)
Donovan made magical lemon bars and lemon cookies....
I ate way too much and got so retardedly high ;_;
Thats really all I can remember lmao.


6月21日: Summer Solstice fun

This weekend was pretty cool~!
Ophie came up to Chicago to kick it with us.
We had a chill cook out with everbody! 
Michonne loved all the male visitors!

After eating and getting lit, we went to the movies!

hahahaha fucking great.

drunken outfit post
the movie was okay....tbh i was so drunk i fell asleep in the fucking theatre lmaoo.
but it was all good sniggie times <3
The next day was the start of summer solstice! IT WAS HOT AS FUCKKKKK.
We got out..a little. but low key went right back inside lmao.
We didnt really go out till later on when the sun went down & the moon herself bathed us in her celestial beams.

my shitty camera does no justice. The moon was GORGEOUS!!!
so beautiful...

My babe <3

There was a cool jazz concert going on @ Mil park.
The artist was DJ Spooky...good music & I was nice and drunk lmao

Stevie aesthetics lol
Dan & kurt tagged along with us later on.
We hung out with Kurt and his friends for a while.
Weedy weed of jamaica + video games + good music
Their studio!

I didnt take that many pics last night...lame lmao. I thought I took more.
Final day was more chill. Momsy took ophie & me to lunch.

My look~

& another Stevie coord haha! 

Ophie went home last night :c
It was sad but I know that hoe will be back lmao!
especially for SLUMPFEST